SP said..
First dates. Anyone beat this.. ???
UFC middleweight champion Chris Weidman is one of the best fighters in the world. He also has serious bowel problems. The 30-year-old from New York has revealed he spent most of the immediate build-up to his fight against Vitor Belfort at UFC 187 last weekend fearing he’d soil himself.
. But that story has nothing on the one he recounted last month about his first date with now wife Marivi.
“My first date with my wife is a crazy story ... so I go to her house, we’re hanging out. She goes and takes a shower. I was best friends with her brother — my brother-in-law now — he was a wrestler on the wrestling team and I started dating his sister,” said Weidman, during a taping of UFC Tonight.
“So she’s taking a shower and all of a sudden I have to go to the bathroom, number two. And I have an issue — when I need to go, I need to go. I’ll write a book one day.
“Her parents are in the living room and there’s only one other bathroom upstairs and it was their personal bathroom for their bedroom, so I can’t take a dump in their bathroom.
“So I go and knock on Marivi’s door while she’s taking a shower and say ‘Marivi, can you hurry up?’ and she’s like ‘I’m taking a shower’. So I’m pacing back and forth in the room and I start breaking out in a sweat so I go back to the door one more time, ‘Marivi, can you please hurry up?’ and she yells ‘What?’. So I’m back in the room and the next thing I know it’s coming. She’s not going to open the door, there’s nowhere to run ... (but) there’s this little office garbage can in the corner. So I’m like ‘this is happening’.
“So I pulled down my pants ... and completely filled her office garbage can.
“So I’ve got a whole bag full of s***. I take the crap, wrap it up and go outside past the parents and out where all the garbage cans are on the street.
“As I come back in the house I’ve got her parents saying ‘you stink, Vinny (brother), what the hell you farted.’ The whole house stinks like crap.
“So I go back inside, Marivi’s still in the shower, there’s this crap on the floor now, so I hear her coming out the door, so I take my sock off, throw it on top of the crap, and I sat on the bed. Of course I didn’t wipe my butt. Nothing. Most disgusting feeling ever.
“So I’m sitting there, and she comes out of the shower, and I’m sitting there like an angel on the bed, and it smells, and there’s no garbage bag in her garbage can any more.
“My wife’s like a detective. She looks at me, looks at the garbage can, and says ‘Did you just s*** in my garbage can?!’. “She’s been with me ever since.”
Yes. That. Happened.
Fark bro I am creasing with laughter here....nice one!!
