damned67 said..
Greeney - I clicked that link.
Opening words, I was anticipating that "Monkey Butt" was a section of the Camino trail, and was all excited for you.
Then I kept reading.
Then I got to the bit about waxing and polishing your sack and crack and, quite literally, what's in between... and well, sucks to be you. Unless you're into that? In which case, I'm happy for you!

About 2 weeks before Xmas, I'd dropped 20kg.... thanks to drugs (semaglutide). Was relying much more on the drugs than lifestyle changes. That said, my beer intake was significantly reduced. It was like my alcoholism was almost gone!
The holiday period, coupled with me needing to go up to the next (damn expensive) dose of semaglutide, which I haven't yet done, led to me putting a few kgs back on.
Nonetheless, I'd dropped from a 36" waist to a 34" waist, where I'm still at. Damn expensive buying a bunch of new boardies and jeans etc!
The effects of dropping that weight has been significant... even though I've still got, in my mind, another 5-10kg to go to be where I think I can comfortably maintain. More energy, more stamina, less back pain..... and much easier to catch waves when I do hit the water. But being able to be active for longer with my 7 year old son, be it in the pool, at the beach, or on the BMX track, is sensational (FYI - I'm too old for a 7 yr old kid).
Anyway, that's all about me. Selfish me.

Great job, Greeney, for making some change. Tell us about your health kick.
How do you deal with the urges? For me, and it's always about me, I would get 'snacky' after dinner and keep grazing. I can tell when the semaglutide needs to go up a dose, because that need to graze comes back. And if I'm laying off the beers, I REALLY want sugar - which is probably a sign of the 'alcoholism' that i joke about, but probably isn't too far from the truth. And I honestly struggle with that desire to keep eating. I'd hoped that the drugs would have taken care of that, in the context of getting me out of that habit. When the drugs are working, it's not a problem at all. When the efficacy drops, I just want to keep eating.

So, Greeney, how do you deal with the self-control? and are you going to wax and polish the sack and crack? I'm asking for a friend.

Careful, Damned67, or Rick 'Sup-the-Creek' Weeks will come over from the SUP room and turn you into a carnivore. (it's working wonders for him!)
But if you are a 34 waist, sounds to me like you are on track! Good on you.

Ha! Yes, I turned to some very serious hikers for advice even though my hikes are short. Figured they'd know what do do.... But, erm, no shaving for me, just balm and man-spreading and sloth. So much for the rigorous exercise kick.

I'm about 92kg and 62 years ancient. I was around 85kg for most of my 40s and 50s and reasonably surf-fit and not at all pudgy. I've turned a bit reclusive and that sees less physical activity. I think that if I went for a surf or a SUP paddle most days and laid off off the daily beers I would slowly-but-surely get back to 'normal' without any extra effort. Really I would just like to get to 85 kg or less, improve my surf fitness and get a little tone back in shoulders, chest, gut (which would probably all happen if I just went surfing lots). But the BMI charts say that a 179cm bloke should weigh 80 kg or less, so I might have to (sigh) make a greater effort.

We grumpy old men hate crowded line-ups and get fussy about tides and banks and car parks and wind direction and and and and... Excuses, excuses, excuses.

When I lay off the beer, I replace it with lime and soda (lots of ice) or something like that (and grumpiness, lots of extra grumpiness). And I go to bed early and read a lot. And I wait for March to arrive.

Anyway, I'm banging on about physical health and this is the mental health thread. But then, of course, the two things are entwined.

You're a stronger man that I, Greeney.
I've had a few friends that have done a dry month, and it's made them feel so much better, they essentially gave up drinking altogether. We're not friends anymore. Or shouldn't be.

Look, I've invested far too much in the Home Brew set up. Who know's when I'll have reached the appropriate ROI to be able to bench it for a while? So why risk it?

Don't chuck it in.
I've been on a new depression drug for almost 12 months and it's turned me around.
All the RUOK stuff gives me the ****s too - they have no answer to "No i'm ****ing not
I get a lot of peace out of just being alone - being that I am on a 666 I can go for a paddle on my own easily

I deal with simple, everyday anxiety etc.
As far as I'm concerned, nothing that needs medication - so I simply can't relate from my own experience.

I do think that the RUOK? stuff has certainly opened the doors for more open discussions about mental health (such as this thread) and, indeed, mental health doesn't carry the 'stigma' that it once did.
I do question if the 'openess' has gone too far? In that non-experts are dealing with it. For example, In my role at work, I'm expected to talk to students/staff about mental health - and I have zero training in that aspect. Or nothing that was beneficial. And I'm not alone. But 'we all talk about it now' is the theory that we're expected to work with, and I don't feel that's appropriate. Not even close.

It's an excellent point that you've both made, in regards to the RUOK? stuff.
As an honest, legitimate question for myself and anyone else reading this thread, if we ask Are you OK? and the response is 'No, I'm ****ing not' - what's our next step? Is it Ok for us to give you an opportunity to expand on that, to vent as needed?
If we're not trained, should we even be asking anymore questions? If we should be asking more, what?
I guess, as an example, if I'm sitting down with a mate over a beer, and the conversation goes that way - 'No, I'm not' - what's the most appropriate way to deal with it without offending?

Really poor comment in a serious thread.
first two or three drinks make you happy, then the rest make you more and more sad..

You start to drink cos you're sad, then you're sad because you drink. Then you're farked. It's horrible

Interesting.I held my finger over the post, button for some time,thinking it wouldn't be taken seriously ,my hesitation was that it might offend someone.it appears that it has ,my apologies it was not meant to disrespect or harm anyone in anyway.

Ok guys, I've been guilty of overthinking life in general, weather in sitting on the lounge, driving around or at work my mind mostly hits a negative spot, so then I think I've got to focus on the positive things in life. I'm always thinking man you should do this do that. I decided I needed to fill in my time. I finish work early everyday around 1.30 pm go home and find things to do in the garden however haven't downsized it's a small garden and lawn. So my list was to join the Burleigh longboard club (done) rejoin a gym, not there yet but did do tour of one close to home. Next is to get a new job because mine is so boring. Then I purchased season tickets for the football went last night titans got the win, was invited up to Suncorp Stadium Friday night to watch my favourite team the Broncos also got the win, this after I'll be going to the Burleigh Bears 5 min walk so that's 3 game in one weekend. So what I'm doing is filling up my life with the things I enjoy. Oh and yes many drink to bandaid hurt pain and suffering I do that but at the end of the day it's a bandaid which doesn't help longtime healing

One of the local mum's has been having health issues and was really hesitant about going surfing again and I reminded her how fun it is to catch a wave.
Great news she got out in the last swell and got some waves and was so stoked

Enjoy life

Geez Jeff - that's tough. I can't even begin to imagine.
I've been having a tougher time than usual of late - but also 'over indulging', and that hasn't helped.
A couple of weeks ago, I had a bit of a breakdown with the wife. It was heavily alcohol-induced, but it got us talking (the following day) more seriously about some of my issues. I've now cut way down on the booze.
To be honest, I don't know if I'd have been so honest without the liquid courage, which let her see how I was really feeling... or she took what I was saying that little more serious, considering I was losing my marbles over it.
But everything has been much better since then, so a silver lining?

Strange.
I've been **** forever, back to 2013 when I had a bit of a breakdown on Christmas eve but shrugged it off and continued.
Started seeing psychologist and takinn meds. 2016 probably upgraded to a psychiatrist and more meds.
Whole time compromised by alcohol abuse. Nothing really helped, did a lot of paddling and bike riding to try and exercise it out of my system, got in to the habit of doing 100 sit ups and push ups per day.
Fortunate my work commitments, while extremely stressful were not time consuming and could be managed in to a couple of hours per day.
Covid killed me. Lost everything. Didn't actually realise it at the time but over 2 years (Dan's socialist utopia of Victoria here) I stopped doing everything. I did heaps in Covid, finding ways to humiliate myself with Gopros and other cameras on my skatebords, posting **** here or next door daily.
I used to do a daily email blog to about 20 people but had to give it up when it became apparent I wasn't doing anything.
I have a brand new Sunova Generation Kanga custom I have basically never paddled from the second lockdown in 2021. I posted setting it up with Hexatractiuon but have never paddled it after.
I went from paddling every morning (All year in Melbourne), or if it was absolutely too **** I would ride my bike 26 km minimum, go from Black Rock to Webb Dock, or if absolutely impossible I would go and ride my skateboards in the industrial estates. I would film all this and spend the rest of the day editing it down to something short enough that someone might watch. I devised different camera mount locations on borads, bikes and cars, using 4 camereas to come up with something someone might watch for a minute..
I prodeuced monthly compilation videos for my friends, with pictures and music. Choosing the music and getting it to fit was more time consuming than the video edit. I did yearly overall compilations. I probably did this for 5 or 6 years.
And then I didn't. I loved doing this stuff, and didn't care if no one ever watched it. The value was for me doing it.
But then I didn't
First I stopped documenting what I was doing, then I stopped doing anything.
My mental health went south badly at this time.
Then I got motivated to give up beer, try and loose weight. This on reflection was inspired by my wife.
I gave up beer and put on 10kg. This was from fat to really fat, so significant.
I went to a dietition, who advised a no carb diet. I got off some meds, that since I had been on them so long resulted in withdrawell symtoms that manifested themselves in nausia. In 3 months I lost 9 kg but was still not a particularly happy person.
I don't do any sit ups and push ups at this time.
I lost another 9kg, getting me down to just "overweight" fo my height. I'm meant to be 75kg. I was 75 Kg when I was twenty. I,m never getting there again and my GP says in to the 80's would be enough.
Then 18 months ago my wife started asking me uncomfortable questions. I admit I am a beer pig. I have few demands on my life, and so long as my daughters and wife are happy and provided for, I think my responsibilities have been fulfilled. I do not require intellectual stimulation. As part of my documented anxiety disorder I have no smalltalk. I do not give a **** how you are, or how your weekend was. If you ask me, I wonder why you want to know, since I don't care about yours. Can you imagine giving an honest answer to "How are you going?". Well actually pretty **** now you ask, but why would you care?"
I hate the plattitudes of small talk. If I ask someone some thing it is because I care about the answer, not because there is a gap in the conversation.
I should probably mention I am very happy with my own company, or the company of genuine friends. I can't hide that I don't give a **** about the responses of casuaul aquantances, or people I don't know..
So, I've lost my thread.
Lets get back on it. I stopped my blogging, I stopped my activity, my depression and anxiety skyrocketed. I really wasn't happy with my life.
Another aside, I had great support of friends who could see something was wrong with me, but I pushed them away.
My GP refered me to a king psychiatrist weirdo guy to review the treatment my psychiatrise was giving me. This was really expensive and the proffessor was a freak. We spoke randomly for about an hour and a half and then while I was still there he dictated a report to his secretary to be typed up and sent back to my GP. It was scarily accurate. He summed me up. I must fall in to a particular type of idiot. He changed my meds again, warned I was at risk to relapse in to alcoholism, and stressed he would never see me again.
That was two years ago.
I bumbled along for maybe six months, the changed meds were brillinant, much less than before , and nothing my psychiatrise ever came up with. I was still not drinking anything.
Then 18 months ago The Wife One announced we should do marriage councelling. Maybe it was two years ago. I admit again to being an insensitive beer pig. Woops I got there two paragraphs above.
Do you know the true definition of "Gobsmacked"?
I h ad no idea. Apparently we didn't talk enough. Both our daughters have graduated uni. The family business no longer involves her. What do you want to talk about? The Ukraine war? Israel? Polotics?
We vdid the counscelling but her mind was made up.
Over 18 months we organised and sold the family home of 27 years. We bought ourselves a house eaach - we are fortunate the family home was worth a lot and my demands are moderate. We are still married, we still have a joint bank account, our super is still joint. Thankfully so far we are getting on and agree that getting lawyers involved is just unnessasy and expensive.
But I am still devastated. I never knew there was a pboblem.
But
Since we seperated my mental health has improved out of sight.
I would now rate my depression at zero, my anxiety at about 10%. I have gained the confidence to excuse myself from situations where I was doing it because I was expected to, or my wife wanted me to.
Alcohol is still a bit of a problem, but I'm more relaxed than I have been in 20 years. The marriage was causing me so much stress that I didn't even notice.
Treading on eggshells unless I did the wrong thiung. Doing stuff I didn't want to or need to because I was expected to.
One thing a psychologist told me was the worst reason for doing anything was "Because you should"

And you know the best thing?
Because I have posted this here it has satisfied my needs but no one is ever going to read it or respond
.

"Because I have posted this here it has satisfied my needs but no one is ever going to read it or respond"
Hey Nozza for what its worth I have been following your posts over the years
Yep, I read your post, really glad you are in a better space, keep doing what makes you in a place you are comfortable in.
Take Care

Its hard to put it out there!
Spent some time with my granddaughter. She had noticed that I was missing something. It was her superpower. So as a symbol of her superpower she tied a string around my wrist so she's with me all the time
Life can be that simple

Nozza said..
Strange.
I've been **** forever, back to 2013 when I had a bit of a breakdown on Christmas eve but shrugged it off and continued.
Started seeing psychologist and takinn meds. 2016 probably upgraded to a psychiatrist and more meds.
Whole time compromised by alcohol abuse. Nothing really helped, did a lot of paddling and bike riding to try and exercise it out of my system, got in to the habit of doing 100 sit ups and push ups per day.
Fortunate my work commitments, while extremely stressful were not time consuming and could be managed in to a couple of hours per day.
Covid killed me. Lost everything. Didn't actually realise it at the time but over 2 years (Dan's socialist utopia of Victoria here) I stopped doing everything. I did heaps in Covid, finding ways to humiliate myself with Gopros and other cameras on my skatebords, posting **** here or next door daily.
I used to do a daily email blog to about 20 people but had to give it up when it became apparent I wasn't doing anything.
I have a brand new Sunova Generation Kanga custom I have basically never paddled from the second lockdown in 2021. I posted setting it up with Hexatractiuon but have never paddled it after.
I went from paddling every morning (All year in Melbourne), or if it was absolutely too **** I would ride my bike 26 km minimum, go from Black Rock to Webb Dock, or if absolutely impossible I would go and ride my skateboards in the industrial estates. I would film all this and spend the rest of the day editing it down to something short enough that someone might watch. I devised different camera mount locations on borads, bikes and cars, using 4 camereas to come up with something someone might watch for a minute..
I prodeuced monthly compilation videos for my friends, with pictures and music. Choosing the music and getting it to fit was more time consuming than the video edit. I did yearly overall compilations. I probably did this for 5 or 6 years.
And then I didn't. I loved doing this stuff, and didn't care if no one ever watched it. The value was for me doing it.
But then I didn't
First I stopped documenting what I was doing, then I stopped doing anything.
My mental health went south badly at this time.
Then I got motivated to give up beer, try and loose weight. This on reflection was inspired by my wife.
I gave up beer and put on 10kg. This was from fat to really fat, so significant.
I went to a dietition, who advised a no carb diet. I got off some meds, that since I had been on them so long resulted in withdrawell symtoms that manifested themselves in nausia. In 3 months I lost 9 kg but was still not a particularly happy person.
I don't do any sit ups and push ups at this time.
I lost another 9kg, getting me down to just "overweight" fo my height. I'm meant to be 75kg. I was 75 Kg when I was twenty. I,m never getting there again and my GP says in to the 80's would be enough.
Then 18 months ago my wife started asking me uncomfortable questions. I admit I am a beer pig. I have few demands on my life, and so long as my daughters and wife are happy and provided for, I think my responsibilities have been fulfilled. I do not require intellectual stimulation. As part of my documented anxiety disorder I have no smalltalk. I do not give a **** how you are, or how your weekend was. If you ask me, I wonder why you want to know, since I don't care about yours. Can you imagine giving an honest answer to "How are you going?". Well actually pretty **** now you ask, but why would you care?"
I hate the plattitudes of small talk. If I ask someone some thing it is because I care about the answer, not because there is a gap in the conversation.
I should probably mention I am very happy with my own company, or the company of genuine friends. I can't hide that I don't give a **** about the responses of casuaul aquantances, or people I don't know..
So, I've lost my thread.
Lets get back on it. I stopped my blogging, I stopped my activity, my depression and anxiety skyrocketed. I really wasn't happy with my life.
Another aside, I had great support of friends who could see something was wrong with me, but I pushed them away.
My GP refered me to a king psychiatrist weirdo guy to review the treatment my psychiatrise was giving me. This was really expensive and the proffessor was a freak. We spoke randomly for about an hour and a half and then while I was still there he dictated a report to his secretary to be typed up and sent back to my GP. It was scarily accurate. He summed me up. I must fall in to a particular type of idiot. He changed my meds again, warned I was at risk to relapse in to alcoholism, and stressed he would never see me again.
That was two years ago.
I bumbled along for maybe six months, the changed meds were brillinant, much less than before , and nothing my psychiatrise ever came up with. I was still not drinking anything.
Then 18 months ago The Wife One announced we should do marriage councelling. Maybe it was two years ago. I admit again to being an insensitive beer pig. Woops I got there two paragraphs above.
Do you know the true definition of "Gobsmacked"?
I h ad no idea. Apparently we didn't talk enough. Both our daughters have graduated uni. The family business no longer involves her. What do you want to talk about? The Ukraine war? Israel? Polotics?
We vdid the counscelling but her mind was made up.
Over 18 months we organised and sold the family home of 27 years. We bought ourselves a house eaach - we are fortunate the family home was worth a lot and my demands are moderate. We are still married, we still have a joint bank account, our super is still joint. Thankfully so far we are getting on and agree that getting lawyers involved is just unnessasy and expensive.
But I am still devastated. I never knew there was a pboblem.
But
Since we seperated my mental health has improved out of sight.
I would now rate my depression at zero, my anxiety at about 10%. I have gained the confidence to excuse myself from situations where I was doing it because I was expected to, or my wife wanted me to.
Alcohol is still a bit of a problem, but I'm more relaxed than I have been in 20 years. The marriage was causing me so much stress that I didn't even notice.
Treading on eggshells unless I did the wrong thiung. Doing stuff I didn't want to or need to because I was expected to.
One thing a psychologist told me was the worst reason for doing anything was "Because you should"

And you know the best thing?
Because I have posted this here it has satisfied my needs but no one is ever going to read it or respond
.

Well I read it. I think you are handling yourself pretty well.

Hi Guys,
Im a 62 year old used to be mad keen surfer/SUP/Diver/fisher/sailer living the dream after moving my family from the cold waters of NZ to the warm of the Mid North coast NSW back in 2003. Surfed all the time sometimes to the detriment of my business lol. Couldn't believe how much surf there was to be had around here.
In 2020 my 23year old son died of cancer. It felt like my soul had been ripped out of me. I went down hill bad . virtually gave up surfing and started drinking a lot. Still always checked the surf but never went out.
Getting really fat now and starting to get health issues but always telling myself I will be back on my board soon but of course that never happened. Becoming 22 kgs heavier and bloody unhappy my wife was getting pretty pissed off with me drinking etc and that caused a lot of friction until 3 months ago i was admitted to hospital in real agony in my abdomen. Cancer...Faaaark! Although not that surprised as I had abused myself pretty heavily over the last 5 years. Emergency operation and removal of most of my large colon and other bits and pieces i am recovering slowly.
All I could think about lying in hospital with tubes down my throat, drains hanging out my stomach and drip lines everywhere was the look on my wifes face. After losing our son it was excruciating hard to see her pain revisited .
I realised how selfish I had been the previous 5 years and now need to make things good which im pleased to say they are very good. A new appreciation for life and no excuses for not getting back out there which when I finish treatment in about March I should be good to go.
I will never take life for granted again..
Cheers for listening fellas.

For what its worth speaking to professionals can help. I know there is a stigma about it however it does work. Great post.